Come, Follow Me

We were studying Ephesians as a family today and talking about Predestination. This is not a principle we believe in. I said, "What do you guys think about the idea that God says, 'it doesn't matter what you do, but Dad and Camille automatically get to go to Heaven and the rest of us are going to Hell.'"

Claire didn't miss a beat and said, "That's absurd! It would be me that goes to Heaven!"

I love her confidence.

Crystal Fitches Roosa

17 years ago, when I moved to Colorado as a scared recent college graduate who didn't know anybody here or anything about this new place I called home, I met this woman: Crystal Fitches.

Her megawatt smile lights up the room. She is the life of every party- big laughs, big voice, big personality- and everybody's best friend. I met her immediately, and we became friends. She was always a joy to be around as we navigated the singles scene.

We each got married. I married my perfect match, she did not. She married a man who would not treat her well and was not kind. But, they had two beautiful children who she adored. She divorced. One night at dinner she told me why her marriage failed. I was mortified. I didn't know marriage could be so bad. I came home so grateful for Ben, and Ben said I needed to hang out with her more often so I would appreciate him more.

She earned her Master' degree. She got a great job making great money- which she  needed and deserved after her divorce.

She met Scott. He was a little older and has disabilities- but he treated her as she deserved to be treated! They had a child- a child who also has severe disabilities. She worked and cared for her husband and three children. She was the sole breadwinner.

Her sister died a year ago.

And, a week ago I got the message from her best friend saying Crystal passed away in her sleep.

To say the word "shocked" is an understatement. How could somebody so full of life, so boisterous and aglow, be taken from her disabled husband and child just a year after her sister died? How can the world be so cruel? Why, God, does something so horrible have to happen?

It isn't fair. It isn't right.

And yet, it is.

Ben went to high school with her. We knew attending her funeral was a priority.

Yesterday we went. It was beautiful. It was gut-wrenching.

I am reminded that without sorrow there can be no joy. And, she brought so much joy!

It is a stark reminder that life is short. That life is fragile. That we need to focus on the things that are most important in life- faith, family, friends.

I will never forget this beautiful woman and her absolute and pure love of everyone around her. I will try to be kinder and more loving. I will show my family greater patience, and hug them a little tighter. It seems surreal that she is gone, but she will not be forgotten.

Crystal loved to sing- it was a huge part of her life. She would love this quote.

Golden Gate

The girls and I trekked up to our annual camping trip at Golden Gate Canyon State Park. For the first time, I really didn't bring any school at all. I felt like we needed a break and a chance to just relax and be.

It is so much work!

But, within 20 seconds of unpacking, Claire yelled, "Let's play 'Lumber Mill!'" Then, the girls spent the next couple of hours playing A Series of Unfortunate Events. That right there made it all worth it.

While they played, I got to sit back and read.

After a horrible night's sleep, we decided one night was enough and that we would head back home at the end of the day instead of staying for a second night.

We headed up to Panorama Point for the kids to draw- another yearly tradition.

Ben came up for the afternoon/evening and we hiked Bootleg Bottom- one of our favorites. It's hard, but has incredible views at the top.

I love this family of mine!

Camille's Note

Camille left an (almost) super sweet note for Ben and me...

She left it on our bed.

From: Camille
To: Mom and Dad

Then, the note says: I love my dad so much. I love my dad. I love my dad so much. But he has to go to work so that makes me sad.

No mention of Mom whatsoever in the note. I feel a little  left out.

Be Ye Therefore Perfect

Our ward is on about a 3 year rotation plan for giving talks, so it's been awhile since I had to speak in sacrament- but today was the day. Here's my talk:

Be Ye Therefore Perfect

            We live in an age where everyone’s life is perfect- or, at least it looks that way. From the photos of models to the picture on social media, everything and everyone’s life, dog, and family look flawless. Sometimes it even feels like everyone at Church is perfect. They all have amazing spouses, faithful children, and awesome testimonies. It makes those of us who don’t have a perfect life feel like we don’t belong.

            News flash: The Marriott family is NOT perfect! In fact, our family motto is, quite seriously, “The Marriotts: Lowering the bar since 2005.” If you ever need to feel better about yourself, please come over to my house for 5 minutes and you will quickly realize that you are doing just fine.

            Which is why, when I was asked to speak on the higher law found in Matthew 5, which culminates in 5:48 with the words “Be ye therefore perfect, even as your father in Heaven is perfect,” I had to chuckle a bit. Perfection is nowhere near our radar- we are totally on the “let’s just get by” plan right now.

            Chiecko Okazaki, former general Relief Society President, said, “Let me remind you of another great kitchen proverb: You can’t make an omelet without breaking eggs.” To me, that proverb gives us permission to take a chance, to risk a little, to make a mistake. Sometimes we want so badly to do everything just right that our desire for perfection paralyzes us. Well, if we’re not moving, we can’t get closer to our goal. I don’t think that the Lord is hovering over us just waiting to pounce on us if we make a mistake. Instead, I think he’s behind us, giving us a gentle nudge and saying, “Take one step. That’s good. Now take another.” Unquote.

            Life is not perfect. Some days you will cry, some days it will be hard to keep going. And it is OK! Even Jesus wept. It is OK if you can’t bake homemade bread or if your kids wear mismatched socks and have jam on their forehead for church. Instead of stressing over the parts of your life that are still in development, focus on living the GOSPEL- not the culture- of Jesus Christ and being more like Him.

            Elder Renlund said, “If we don’t try, we’re just latter-day sinners; if we don’t persevere, we’re just latter-day quitters; and if we don’t allow others to try, we’re just latter-day hypocrites.”

            In our faith, we are an action centered church. For years, we DID home teaching, we didn’t minister. We SAY our prayers, we don’t pray. We DO temple work, we don’t go to worship. We are not DEVOUT members, we are ACTIVE members. We are obsessed with activity and work. In and of itself, that isn’t bad- work is good. There are a lot of people that need to be fed and clothed and served. But, we sometimes miss that meditative devotion to Christ that is required of true disciples.

            In John 8 we read of a woman taken in adultery. The scribes said to the Savior, “According to the law, we should stone her. What do you say?”

            Then, we get this beautiful imagery of the higher law. Christ goes to her, kneels in the dirt, gets in the muck and the filth of the streets and tells the men that if they are without sin, they can cast stones. They all go away leaving the one sinless person in the dirt with the woman, and he offers her forgiveness.

            In his talk “Perfection Pending” from 1995, Russell M. Nelson clarifies that the word “perfect” does not mean to be without sin, but rather to be “complete, finished, and fully developed.”

            Matthew 9 tells of a woman who had been diseased with an issue of blood for 12 years. She came to Jesus and touched His garment. He turned to her and lovingly said, “Daughter, be of good comfort. Thy faith hath made thee whole.” Does that mean she was perfect? That she was sinless from that point onward? Of course not. It means she let Christ heal her when she was at her worst- she let Christ see her filth, her dirt, her imperfections, and she let Him heal her.

            Peter is one of my favorite scripture characters. He is so stalwart, he is so fierce in his loyalty to Christ. 

            Except when he is not. He walked on water- until he got scared and doubted and started to fall in. In Gethsemane, Peter keeps falling asleep no matter how often the Savior asked him to stay awake. But then, minutes later, he draws a sword and is ready to single-handedly fight 600 Roman soldiers who came to arrest the Lord, and he even cuts the ear off of one. Just a few hours later from this courageous act, however, he trembles in fear before a young maiden around 12 or 13 years old, and denies Christ three times. In essence, Peter is just like each of us- eager and willing, and scared and unsure all at the same time.

            In the gospel, we can’t have do-overs, but we can have “do-betters” as Emily Freeman calls them.  We aren’t always going to do right, but Christ will continue to call us again and again.  After the cock crowed three times, Christ still asks Peter to lead the Church. Christ still wanted to use Peter! Christ never convicts or condemns us- but He constantly invites and encourages us to do better.

            Believing in Christ is a dangerous way to live. It is hard! There are times of failure in our testimony journey. We have all had rooster crow moments- when we did wrong and beg for a do over.

            Likewise, we have also had “walk on water moments”- not literally walking on water, but times when we have had our own personal miracles- feelings of being so overcome with the spirit that we know we can do anything the Lord asks of us.

            1 Corinthians 3:9 says, “We are laborers together WITH God; ye are God’s husbandry, ye are God’s building.”

            God’s work is US- He is building US. We are His field, His building, His temple- and He is walking right beside us in our journey, where ever we are on the path.

            My all-time favorite quote is from C. S. Lewis: “Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.” Unquote.

            One question we can ask ourselves is simply: “How have I evolved as a result of the Gospel of Jesus Christ?”          

            Matthew 5:44 says, “Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you and persecute you.”

            The Savior had exactly one motivation for everything He did: LOVE. His love for God, and His love for each of us.

            To me, that is the higher law- learning to be motivated by love. Learning to willingly get in the mud and the filth of my neighbors, my friends, and even my enemies, to lift them up. To learn to minister- not just to visit teach.  To worship- not just attend a temple session. To be devout, not just active.

            How have I evolved to do this in my life? Well, like all of us, I am a work in progress. But, the key takeaway is this: I AM progressing! I feel like I am missing a roof and the leaks keep coming, and it does hurt sometimes. But I am also learning and growing and trying and failing and continuing. And for right now, today, that is enough- because Christ is by my side- in the filth of my life, helping me in all of my do-betters.

            This is a gospel of grand expectations, but God’s grace is sufficient for each of us. Discouragement is not the absence of adequacy but the absence of courage, and our personal progress should be yet another way we witness to the wonder of it all.

            As Neal A. Maxwell quipped, “True, there are no instant Christians, but there are constant Christians.”

            If we so live, we too can say, “And I soon go to the place of my rest, which is with my Redeemer, for then shall I see his face” with pleasure, “for then will our confidence wax strong in the presence of God,” and He who cannot lie will attest to our adequacy with the warm words, “well done.” I so testify in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Project Linus Quilt

We FINALLY finished the Christmas quilt that Audra and Claire have been working on for the past several months, and it has not officially been turned into Project Linus. They did a great job on it!

3 Pigs and Chinese Culture

The girls are working on a Fairy Tale project, and for one of the stories they are doing, we studied The Three Little Pigs (yes, I know, that isn't technically a fairy tale). They built houses out of straw, sticks, and "bricks" and then we tried to blow them down with a blow dryer. They loved it! And, I enjoyed seeing their creativity.

Then, we also finished a book about China, as we are also studying that region of the world this year. We had a little "Man On the Mountain" party and the girls made dragons, and then they also used YouTube to learn a traditional Chinese cultural dance. It was so great! These girls really are the best!

Summer List

We did almost everything we wanted to this summer. Just no the ice-skating and eating pizza at the Westridge Pool. We will have to work on that for next year.

I'm really not liking that summer is about over.