EULOGY:
Matthew Ron High was born in Burien, Washington on August 6, 1981 to Ronald and
Margo High. The birth was precarious and both Matt and Margo were nearly lost in the
process. Margo wrote in his baby book: Matthew was born by emergency cesarean
because I developed toxemia and severe high blood pressure. He is truly a “gift from
God” which is the meaning of Matthew. When they were both safely home, the
celebrating began. Ron was particularly glad to add a boy to the family after 4 girls. Matt
was beloved from the moment he was born. One year the family drove from one
McDonald’s drive-thru to another to make sure that Matt got all of the Happy Meal toys
available in the Transformers set. He followed in Ron’s footsteps by being mechanically
minded from a very young age. Every year for birthdays and Christmases he would
have his toys torn apart shortly after the wrapping was off. He wanted to figure out how
everything worked, even if it meant that the brand new toy was rendered useless. He
was unstoppable with a screwdriver. Matt's nickname we all called him was Bud. He
would get so mad as a little kid, because Bud was too close to Budweiser, the beer.
Sometimes you don’t get to pick your own nickname though and so to this day, we still
call him Bud.
Growing up as the youngest with 4 older sisters wasn’t always easy for Matt. He had 5
mothers taking care of him, and we always joked that he would be the best husband
because he put up with years of watching Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, Pillow Talk,
The Princess Bride or Disney’s Robin Hood. He always joked he didn’t love it, but he
could quote all the lines and sing all the songs. He didn’t balk at the idea of watching a
chick flick either. However, whenever we would go to Blockbuster and Matt got to pick,
he'd immediately grab an Ernest movie. Ernest saves Christmas, Ernest Goes to Camp,
Ernest Goes to Jail, we watched them all. Every time after watching them my dad would
swear he’d never allow Matt to pick another one, but the next time we’d go in, there Matt
would be, Ernest movie in hand, checking out. Dad just couldn't say no to his baby boy.
Matt was full of energy as a kid and was always making, breaking or playing something.
There was a brief period of time when he was obsessed with fire. One time he built a
campfire on the floor of our camper. Another time he set the wood pile on fire because
he saw a spider crawling on it. Unfortunately, the wood pile was stacked up against the
house. Luckily dad caught both of those in time to prevent real damage. Over a 4 month
period when Matt was 9 he broke all three of the big picture windows in our basement. I
remember the last one broke when he threw a ball in the backyard, it took a crazy
bounce and went straight through the last window. Mom and Dad decided to replace
those three windows with plexiglass. So one Saturday dad spent all morning replacing
those big windows. About 30 minutes after the job was all done and dad had cleaned
everything up mom and I were in the laundry room just down the hall when we heard
Matt run out the back door, slamming it behind him. Unfortunately for him the back door
had a window and it shattered. Fortunately for him, after a minute of shocked silence
everyone burst into laughter. It was too funny not to laugh. Growing up with little Matt
was one adventure after another and we laughed a lot. Every summer Matt loved
visiting our extended family in Idaho, spending time with his male cousins (a nice break
from the girls), and especially Grandma and Grandpa High.
Matthew loved to be silly as a kid. From dressing up as Erkel, with nerdy glasses and
high waisted pants, saying “Did I do that” over and over, to singing Captain Vegetable
and I Want a Hippopotamus For Christmas. He would perform any skit or comedy
sketch if he thought he could get a laugh out of you. His pictures show his mischievous
smile, always trying to find some way to hog the attention of the camera. However, he
hated attention for his birthday or for praise and he would really, really hate listening to
me read this. Matt’s humor changed as he got older. It was a bit drier, a little more
understated, and not quite so slapstick. But everyone who knows him has seen how he
still loved to joke around, wear shirts with funny sayings on them, and seemed to always
have a funny story to tell.
Matt told the most elaborate stories. Stephanie remembers once as a child he told her
he was not actually the youngest. He was born as the oldest, and then a squirrel gave
him an acorn and he ate it and died, and then came back to life as the youngest, so
since he was technically the oldest, he really could boss her around. Most of the time,
his stories were so elaborate we knew he had to be embellishing the truth, which often
he probably was. However, once Christina and Stephanie were in Blackfoot, Idaho and
he was talking about some ridiculous story about crows and Christina and Stephanie
knew it couldn’t be true and so they looked it up on their phones to prove him wrong.
Sure enough, there was a newspaper article about it. You never quite knew if he was
pulling your leg or not.
Matt was a devoted friend who loved to serve those around him. Over the years Matt
has helped many friends fix car issues and move houses or finish projects. He truly
loved to serve others. He spent as much time as possible with his lifelong best friend
Dave Schaffer. Dave shared with us a few stories of how Matt blessed his life and I want
to share one with you:
For 30 years myself and Matt have been there for each other during the best of times
and worst of times. One day when Matt finally realized his first marriage was over he
came to visit me, it was obvious to me that he wanted help and needed someone closer
than a phone call away but was never going to ask for it. I decided then it was in both of
our best interest for me to come back home and I lived with Matt while we helped each
other through a divorce, job change and taking care of Isaac. Years passed, I got
married, Matt got married, we both had kids and lived farther away from each other. We
still enjoyed hanging out talking cars, snowmobiling and hanging out with our families.
Then one day I left to get gas on my motorcycle and was met by a hit and run driver
who changed my life and my families life forever. I have been told that while in my coma
Matt came out regularly to visit me and talk to me even though I never answered. Once
out of my coma Matt would still stop by before or after work and comfort me even
though my medication made me paranoid and delusional. Eventually when they knew I
was actually going to come home Matt, Issac and Ron as well as many others came
and fixed my house to make it handicap accessible. From there Matt continued to visit
and even helped me go to car shows in my wheelchair. It was really hard for both Matt
and Dave when Matt’s family moved to Montana, but they have stayed close and the
moment Dave heard what had happened he and Crystal jumped in their car and were
on their way to Montana. Matt could not have better people in his corner than these two.
I love the fact that Matt’s family included more than just his family.
When Matt was a senior in high school he found out that he was going to be a dad.
Although the timing was not easy, and he knew it would alter the course of the rest of
his life, Matt decided that he was all in. He loved Isaac with his whole soul the moment
he saw him and he dedicated himself to being a fantastic dad. Matt married Isaac’s
mom, Brenda Lund and while the marriage did not last, they have raised a fantastic son.
Looking through the photo albums, you see the bright smiles on Matt and Isaac’s faces
when they are together. They have always brought out the best in each other. Matt was
lucky to have Isaac, and Isaac was lucky to have Matt. They laughed, joked, and rarely
went a day without speaking. They are both car enthusiasts and can talk cars, car
shows, and anything car related for hours. Isaac followed Matt around at High’s Trailer
Repair, and Matt loved working with Isaac, even when he was a teenager. He loved
having him by his side everyday.
Matt and Ilea met on Saturday November 22nd 2008 at a Single Adult Dance . The day
after they met, Matt visited my family while we were living in England. He told us about
this new girl he met, and despite the castles and getting to see the Queen drive by right
in front of us, Matt’s mind was on Ilea the whole trip. He even called her from England
and right after he got home he took Ilea to meet the Shaffers. They were attached at the
hip from then on. Matt and Ilea were married on January 16, 2010 it was a joyous day
including wedding pictures in the snow and a snowball or two.
Matt married for love, and it brought not only a vibrant wife, but a whole second family.
What a surprise going from the only brother to having four brother-in-laws, and a loving
mother-in-law and father-in-law. Ilea’s whole family loved Matt and welcomed him to
their family, including birthdays, weddings, and large family get togethers. From
camping, fishing, and family time at Ilea’s parents lake, family time really was the best
time. The paddle boats, kayaking, and days in the sun were always amazing.
Ilea and Matthew have three wonderful children. First Alexandra and her always
questioning nature, her willingness to jump in to help anyone, and her excitement to be
learning and growing and planning her next big adventure.
Rebekah came second and she has more energy than the bunny rabbit. Not an
overwhelming can’t keep up energy, but an excitement for the next thing. Why walk
when you can run, why wait if you can do it right now. And she loves so big, animals,
people, she wants everyone and everything to feel loved.
Zak looks exactly like Matthew. Melissa said that showing childhood photos of Matt to
her kids, Olivia said over and over, are you sure that isn’t Zak, because they could be
twins. Zak is one to tear things apart to figure them out, just like his dad, always
wondering about how things work. Maybe he will be an amazing mechanic someday
too.
Matt and Ilea lived in Federal Way, near both parents, surrounded by family, when a
great opportunity and the chance for adventure brought them to Ronan three years ago.
It was a huge leap of faith, but they have both said how grateful they are for the love
and support of the community they have found here in Montana. This past week has
proved that they were right, the great people here have been a huge blessing, providing
many tender mercies during the worst week of their lives. They are so incredibly lucky to
be surrounded by all of you.
Matt left us all way too early, and the memories we have of him will always be there.
However, he also lives on in each of us. Stephanie wrote this for us:
I see Matt when I look at Zakary. They have the same hair, same smile, and same love
for video games. Although Matt didn’t play many games after he was grown up, he
loved them as a kid and even saved money to buy the new Sega Genesis with
Stephanie, even if she paid for 90% of it. 🙂
I see Matt when I hear Rebekkah speak. When I hear her sense of humor and vivid
recounting of experiences she’s had in life, and the way her voice rises when she gets
really excited.
I see Matt when I see pictures and videos of Ali running. She has the same gait, long,
lean body, and look on her face as when her dad ran cross country. And, he also didn’t
like running for time.
I see Matt in Isaac. Oh, do I see him in Isaac. I hear his voice when Isaac talks about
cars and what he can do to fix them up. Just last Thanksgiving they were talking back
and forth about cars and they were finishing each other's sentences and are basically
the same person.
I see Matt in Ilea. With her smile and laugh, her love of the snow and snowmobiling, and
love of adventure. With her ability to do hard things.
I see Matt in my parents. I see in my mom’s willingness to serve others and love
everyone. With her way of making everyone feel welcome, loved and like they belong. I
see Matt in my dad. With his willingness to stop everything to help a person in need,
whether he knows them or not. Whether it’s moving, fixing a car, sitting with someone
and listening to them. In their quiet determination to get things done.
Thanks Stephanie.
Until we meet again, I love you Bud and I miss you dreadfully. Today our promise to you
is to love our families and yours, to be great friends, to find opportunities to serve others
and to keep telling terrible dad jokes.
