Matt's celebration was beautiful, but hard. It was a good turn out, about 80 people. We had a memory sharing to start which was really sweet. That's when I handed out all the quilts I made. Zak didn't let go of his for the rest of the day which meant a lot to me.
With everything with Sophia, I wasn't much help. Stephanie, Melissa, and Mom and Dad did so much. The work they put into it was amazing, and it showed. The root beer floats (because Mat loved root beer) were a huge hit. Dad made homemade root beer- it was delicious.
There were games everywhere. The kids loved volleyball and karaoke. Mom and dad really wanted it to be a celebration, and I think they got out of it what they wanted. Cousins who I haven't seen in decades were there, and that was nice.
My mom commented previously, "This is the last time I get to buy something for Matt."
That hits pretty hard. This has been so hard. And while it was beautiful, it was a reminder of all that we have lost.
So I've been pretty weepy lately. I feel like grief is now my constant companion, and I haven't quite yet figured out how to walk with her.
It might take me some time to figure it all out.
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