This year has been a bit of a struggle with Audra and school. Basically, she hates school. And as Christmas break ended and Audra realized she had to go back, she literally gave Ben and me a 10 minute lecture on why she hated school and why she didn't want to go back. The list included (but is not limited to):
-I miss you
-I miss Claire
-It's not fun
-It's too hard
-The kids are too loud at lunchtime so I don't get to hear the music playing
-I get too tired (she told me she takes a nap on the grass- even if there is snow on the ground- at recess because she is so tired)
The list went on and on, and was really quite impressive. She has thought a lot about how much she hates school.
Every Friday I volunteer in Audra's class for over an hour. Many of the kids I know quite well as they were also in Audra's kindie class. Every time I go in, at least 3 kids are in tears. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
One of her classmates- who I have known for almost two years- is one of the best kids I have ever met. He is super smart, super nice, and just a great kid. I would be happy if he married Audra one day- I adore him.
The last three Friday's I have gone in he has had complete meltdowns. He says it's too hard and he can't do it and so he gives up.
This is from perhaps the smartest kid in the class. He used to be happy and smiling every time I saw him- he was the best of the best. And now he hates school and hates learning and has constant meltdowns in class and other massive behavioral issues.
If it was only him I could say that maybe he is having troubles at home or some other issues which are causing his problems at school. But he's not the only one.
In fact, Audra is having the same experience.
She tells me all the time that it's too hard, that she doesn't want to do it, that school is horrible.
The other day she asked me, "Did you like school when you were my age?"
And that's just it. I LOVED school when I was her age! I remember vividly because when I was in 1st grade- Mrs. Leffler's class- my aunt died and we had to go to her funeral in Idaho. This caused us to miss a week of school. I remember being so upset- and not because my aunt died, but because I didn't want to miss school. Mrs. Leffler told my mom I was so far ahead in class that I didn't need to do any work while we were gone, but I WANTED work while we were gone. Granted, that love didn't necessarily last all through high school, but in first grade school was the greatest thing in the world.
Audra doesn't have that. She cries when I pull out her spelling words. She tells me she isn't smart and she doesn't do well on tests and she doesn't want to do it. She cries when I drop her off at school. She cries when I ask her to read to me or to do her homework.
I'm not going to sit here and say that Audra is a genius, because, well, she's 6 and that's a ridiculous label to put on a 6 year old. But, she is smart- especially in math. She takes after Ben and seems to "get it." But tonight I pulled out her homework and she started to cry (now remember, this is NOT my child who cries and tantrums- this is my obedient people pleaser child) and said she hated math and it was too hard and she couldn't do it.
The worksheet is all about greater than and less than symbols. We made a game out of it and turned the symbols into animals, and Ben even had us re-enact the symbols so the kids got to "eat" the bigger people while making the symbol. We even laughed.
Then we got to this:
ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?????!!!!!!!!????????!!!!!!!!
She is a FIRST grader! How on earth should a normal, average, first grader be adding DOUBLE DIGIT numbers and figuring out which is bigger?????? She is just barely learning how to add 8 + 7, and she's somehow supposed to know how to add 53 + 14????
NO WONDER ALL THE KIDS IN HER CLASS ARE CRYING ALL THE TIME!!!!!
NO WONDER SHE HATES SCHOOL!!!!!!!
NO WONDER SHE FEELS STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is not age appropriate, and this is not OK!
Perhaps you noticed the little note I wrote for her teacher: "Umm...this is absurd for a 1st grader..."
Audra has started cheating on her spelling tests.
In FIRST grade the pressure for excellence is already so great that she has resorted to cheating.
And how can I blame her? She feels stupid because she can't answer these asinine questions.
Audra isn't stupid. She is a bright girl who used to LOVE learning.
But her love of learning has been killed by a system that values ludicrous standards over realistic goals.
I don't blame her teacher. It's not his fault that his pay is tied to test scores. It's not his fault that he is forced by our school district (and society as a whole) to send home this homework.
Her teacher hates the homework as much as I do- but the district forces him to send it home. He can't fight it because he has a family to support.
But I can.
I can try and bring back the light in her eyes that Audra used to have. I can try and help her love learning again. I can try and help her to know that she is smart and creative and worthwhile- despite what a stupid set of Common Core standards and tests say.
I'm not sure how I'm going to do that. It's a tall order.
But the first thing we will do is throw out that worksheet.
11 comments:
Wow. Max isn't getting stuff like that in 2nd grade. I will say that in his old school - he fell through the cracks and did nothing all day, pretty much. His new school is much better for this, at least he doesn't fall through the cracks! It is hard, this parenting thing. I hope you work out something soon - I am glad I don't have a kid coming home with those worksheets though - Max would flip out.
My two cents is that I find it odd that multiple kids are melting down and a very seasoned teacher like hers is throwing his hands up in the air. Common Core is a set of standards, it is not a teaching method, so what is going on in that classroom? Or that school? And are all the kids at the same level of math no matter what their ability? Because that sounds like madness to me. At N's school, when they hit first grade they do this shuffle thing at math time where the kids go to different classrooms depending on where they are at in order to accommodate the differen needs. A first grader could end up in a third grader's group if the need arose, etc. If I were you, and I realize you are not asking for my advice, I would be taking this up with the principal as to what is going on. You can't give kids difficult work and not support them in it. I appreciate a challenge, but elementary school is all about building and boosting confidence, making friends, learning how to follow rules, etc. incidentally, I HATED elementary school, but not for academic reasons. Hang in there.
I agree that common core is just a set of standards, but they are what the curriculum all across the country is now being based on. And in our county, teachers are rated based on how well they implement those standards and how well the kids test against those standards. Actually, our district decided that the standards aren't rigorous enough and they created their own standards in addition to common core that raises the bar even more- just so that they can look good as school board members. It's a huge mess.
I did go in and talk to the principal, and she basically said that he can differentiate. But the reality is that he can't- he has too many kids and not enough time and resources. He is pushing them enough that they are all growing and getting better, but at what cost? Who cares if Audra can read at a 1A or a 1B level if she hates reading in the long run?
Anyway, it is all so frustrating. It's another of the many reasons that homeschooling is very tempting.
Yeah, I just find it interesting that they would be pushing such an unfortunate system SO HARD. I am thinking back to N's parent/teacher conference where his teacher told us point-blank that (RE: Reading) she purposely gives them slightly easier work so that they will build confidence, *enjoy it*, and *want* to keep learning. This can't be a concept that is unique to this one teacher - in fact, my guess is there are proven methods of what works for getting kids excited about learning (wink, wink) - and I just don't understand why a school and/or district such as yours would be beating its head against a brick wall so often. I can understand your frustration. I feel sorry for the kids who don't have parents who are as involved. I haven't noticed common core being much of a big deal around here. They mentioned they were using it, but not much more than that and I haven't seen anything troubling related to it. I wonder if a lot of the stress these kids in Audra's class are suffering from is related to whatever these extra standards your district have set. Imagine being an ESL kid or something like that in a system like yours? Sheesh. No chance at all.
One of the biggest problems with what is happening is that it goes against all of the research of what works. We have 200 years of research in this country about what makes successful schools, and instead of relying on tried and true methods our school board is re-writing the books according to markets and profits. They believe that if it works in the business world, it should work in education. None of our board members know anything about education (most are lawyers and engineers- nothing against lawyers and engineers, but they aren't educators). None of our board members even send their kids to traditional public schools. Some don't have kids, some send their kids to private schools, and some send theirs to charters- but none to the neighborhood school.
We have a new principal this year and the first thing she said was that she loves data. I knew we were in trouble! Everything is about Data and that all important test score.
One teacher in our school has always done a "song of the week"- where the kids get to learn a new song and do some research on the song and such. The kids loved this assignment, but the teacher had to stop doing it because it isn't tested. Once again, learning is killed because a standardized test doesn't value it.
I sit at our PTA meetings where they want us to spend all of our fundraising dollars on computers so that they can test the kids more- all of the tests are now done on computers, and we don't have enough.
So instead of art and music, they want the parents to buy more testing machines (we were also told by our school board that art is something we can fundraise for, not something all kids should have).
It's so maddening- I can't even say. But that's what happens when you let special interests buy your elections and you lose any and all control of your schools.
Oh my gosh! Move here! Now! Our PTA raises money to fund the school's art closet so that the teachers can have as many art supplies as they need. Last year they used funding to buy a new floor for the dance room.
Data can be used to prove your point, Chris...bring that principal facts and data. If you have the heart to. I can understand how this is feeling very stifling.
Sorry Sis. I know here there is emphasis on testing, but on a lot of other areas too. My kids get art and PE and music every week. I still worry that there is too much emphasis on testing but so far it hasn't been bad here. It would be hard to be in your situation. We love you and your kids.
So sorry to hear about this. I loved school when I was younger ( a long time ago) and I can't imagine why you would want to learn if it isn't fun. Hope you get something figured out and we will be praying for you and Audra. Love you so much!!
whoa! that is out of control. Seriously! What a nightmare. I can't believe they expect her to know that. I don't know that. I have to use my finger to count and figure it out. LOL! Who created this? Is this part of common core or just the ridiculous standards they are setting. I am mad for you, really I am.
We have definitely talked about moving, and that is still an option. The problem is that this is a national trend- we are just the frontrunners of a national agenda that is systematically destroying education in order to turn it into a for profit agenda. We can move, but it's just a matter of time before it finds us wherever we are.
I have thought about bringing the data in- I have tried to say things like, "Research shows that small class size DOES make a difference" as our principal and school district try to tell us that bigger class sizes are no big deal. But, I'm tired of fighting. Especially when I always lose. I put everything I had into the fight, and big money won. The principal, parents, community members, and school board don't care about actual research, they just want to make headlines. It's mind boggling, and forces parents to make tough choices.
Jen- I think this particular worksheet is from common core (though I should ask the teacher where on earth it came from in order to be sure), and common core is a major concern and parents should be up in arms about this. But, we also need to remember that common core and standardized tests go hand in hand- they feed off of each other. So we need to stop the madness of the testing as well- hence why I'm opting Audra out of the tests. And teaching to the test- this is the biggest killer of learning. It really is all just a nightmare- and unfortunately, it's spreading. It's backed by billionaires who will stop at nothing to make money off our kids' education. And it's destroying our schools.
Oh, it all makes me so sick!!!!!!!
Olivia is in 1st grade and her teacher has barely started working on these concepts. She has never done double digits past 20. I don't understand why they would have her working on double digits AND greater than symbols if they don't have a firm foundation in either of them. I will just say, best of luck. We know you are doing what is best for Audra, but if kids are crying in class that often I feel sorry for all of the students in class. We love you.
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