I was volunteering in Audra's class about an hour ago and the principal came over the intercom and said that the school was in lockdown. When I taught, we often went into lockdown- once because a coyote was on the loose, once because there was a robber several blocks away, or of course, for a drill. I wasn't too concerned. But, thanks to Smartphones (I don't have one, but another volunteer did- because, well who doesn't? Just me), the other volunteer looked up what happened.
And we heard about the shooting.
I went into the hallway and burst into tears.
I called Ben to try and get more details. I couldn't even talk I was so upset. I'm still in shock.
Arapahoe High School is just a few miles from our house. We have seriously considered transferring our kids to the Littleton district and having them end up at the rival school of Arapahoe. Litteton is well known as a superior district. I desperately want/wanted my kids to go there, and we have very seriously considered moving to that area.
I taught at the rival school of Columbine. In fact, after Columbine, the kids all went to the school I taught at- both schools switched to half day schedules for the remainder of the year while they redid Columbine. Many, many of the teachers I taught with had been at Columbine and transferred to my school after the shooting because they could no longer be in that building.
I am very, very upset that I live in an area where when a shooting happens we don't say, "I can't believe it! There's been a shooting!" Instead, we say, "Oh, no- not again."
Now don't freak out when I tell you this, but I have been seriously considering home schooling. Don't freak out!!!!! I know what you are all thinking, because it is all things I would have thought even just 5 months ago. But, losing this election has changed everything. It has changed me- and not necessarily for the best. I have had depression (I think), and I am angry and frustrated. Not just with what is happening in my county, but in the national trend of standardized testing, common core, lack of respect for teachers and education, etc. Anyway, at some point I will do an entirely different post on my thoughts and transformation of my thinking of homeschooling.
As I have been fasting and praying and trying to figure things out, I have not felt like I have gotten an answer. But I have had the thought "something is going to happen that will help you to know what to do."
At the time the thought came to my mind, I didn't think much of it. But I did think to myself, "Well, if there's another shooting in the area, that will make up my mind pretty fast."
And now it's happened. Not at Newtown. HERE. Once again in my backyard. Within just a few miles of my house. AGAIN.
It's devastating. Heartwrenching. Disgusting. Horrible.
And sad. Really, really sad.
Especially since when I talked to a friend about it she said, "At least only two were shot."
Maybe it's time I realize that I don't want to wait until Audra's school is where the next shooting takes place before I do something to protect my children.
7 comments:
You know my thoughts went straight to you as soon as I heard this news. So sorry, my friend.
Maybe you should come to Seattle? Though I know none of us are immune.
Seattle is still an option. Let me tell you, after a day like today, everything is still on the table.
I'm so sorry you are having such a rough time with things. I also thought of you when I heard about the shooting. It must be so scary to have it so close to home! I don't think you are crazy for considering it. We will do anything to protect our kids. I think you should move here! Although, like Danielle said, none of us are immune. I've wanted to ask you why you dislike the Common Core program. Our school switched to it this year. I don't know enough about it, or how it used to be, to have an opinion on it, but I know a lot of people are very unhappy about it and I am curious why that is. I will have to send you an email one of these days to get your thoughts.
I hope that you are repeating the title of your post over and over to yourself too. Don't Freak Out!!! I have done a lot of thinking about homeschooling as a practice since I have people super close to me that either do homeschool or were homeschooled. When we were kids the people we know that were homeschooled were horrible examples. I have to say that while I have no current desire to homeschool, there are a lot of benefits to homeschooling. There are also some pretty big downsides. If you are serious about it, do a lot of research, talk to people who do it, and explore options. And try to make the decision after you are a little more removed from this tragedy.
The number one piece of advice I would give you though, is to address your depression/fears now. Don't let them fester, there are lots of people you can talk to both professionally and non professionally. If you decided to homeschool before you were feeling better mentally, it would be incredibly hard for you, because homeschooling is hard work with no break from your kids.
And lastly, we love you and your family. Tragedies like this are horrific.
I thought of you immediately too and I'm so sorry about everything that has happened to you recently. Take care of yourself! Homeschooling isn't crazy. I would definitely consider it if I felt it was in Spencer's best interest. It sounds like you're doing things the right way by waiting for guidance from the Holy Ghost. Keep hanging on! You and your family will be in my prayers. Hugs!
Thanks for the comments and the prayers- I need them both!
Shells- I agree that any decisions can't be made as a reaction- it has to be made out of the best interest of my kids for their overall well-being, not out of fear. I am definitely not taking this decision lightly! I haven't decided anything yet, so we'll see what happens.
Oh, and Mandy- I can talk for hours about common core! Maybe I'll do a blog post about it in the future! Basically, it's just another way that teacher's hands are tied and they are being force fed what to teach our kids. Instead of doing what individual kids need, they have to read a script (so to speak)and are told exactly what to teach. There is a TON more to it then that, but that's one of the big reasons I don't like it.
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